0 In Bomb Life 101

No Means No: Reflections on Harvey Weinstein and Basic Respect of Female Desire

If you’ve been reading the news, you’d know that Harvey Weinstein, a prolific Hollywood producer and former film studio executive, is all up in the headlines. Several actresses, from bold faced names to those little known, have come forward, saying that Weinstein forced himself on them, asked for massages, placed hands on private parts, and did even more aggressive, uncomfortable things. Many stayed quiet for so long because he is powerful and could compromise their careers. But after several years of bad behavior, he is being exposed in a very public and scandalous way. He has been fired from his own company, his reputation seemingly permanently sullied.

A tape surfaced of him attempting to coerce a young lady into his room. One resounding thing was clear: She Said No. Several times. It’s almost as if he didn’t hear her. No didn’t mean no to him, it meant, let me bargain with you a little bit more. Let me try to convince you and force you to do something I want that you don’t want. So many times with men in entertainment, they try to strong arm women so that they can get their way, flouting utter disrespect for female desire.

I’ve recently dealt with similar situations, even as an ‘Alpha’ female. I’m not your typical leader. I don’t yell. I’m not a diva. Few can call me a bitch. But several times in recent history, I’ve dealt with men in a work capacity who simply don’t understand that no means no. If I say, “Don’t do this,” “I don’t want you to do that,” it turns into a nasty argument. Ties are broken. It follows a common theme of disrespect of female volition. Me saying, “No,” should be enough. When I say please don’t do this, I get a slew of questions as to “Why not?” “Are you serious?” “I’m confused…” What exactly is confusing? Why wouldn’t I be seriously asking you to do or not do something? And why is it so difficult for men to respect a women’s wishes?

Though what I’m dealing with is on a way ‘smaller’ scale that those coerced by Harvey Weinstein (for the record, I have never been raped, sexually harassed or assaulted thank GOD), I would say that I am encouraged that these women have come forward to address a serious issue in entertainment and media. The disrespect of women has got to stop.
And while I hesitated to even write this (who am I to complain about a few non compliant, manipulative men who don’t respect my authority?), all incidents must be addressed.
Get out of your feelings and respect our desires.
It’s so simple. Real simple.
Love and Light,

*Read all about Mr. Weinstein here and here.

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