4 In Claire's Life/ Featured

I Hate Mosquitos: Sweet Blood Terror Tales of Triste from Jamaica

I spent the past few days in beautiful Jamaica! I am now working with Seagram’s Escapes and Seagram’s Spiked as a brand ambassador, and to celebrate, they flew yours truly plus a few other influencers out to Montego Bay for a weekend of sun drenched relaxation.

My boo thang and I were situated in a gorgeous suite overlooking the pool and ocean, and one day we fell asleep with the patio doors open (he left them open!). The soothing sounds of the ocean waves lulled me to a deep sleep as sea breeze fluttered the curtains and undulated into the white drenched room. I snored softly (or loudly if you ask my boyfriend!) and contentedly…until I heard the familiar sound of a pesky mosquito torpedoing towards my ear, on a search for a midnight snack. I ducked abruptly under the sheets and tried to go back to sleep…but I was hot. So I emerged again. It took me about 30 minutes before the stinging, burning, itching sensation of about 5 mosquito bites woke me fully to my senses. This little bloodsucker had gone to town on my back, face (!), and legs before I found him lingering in a food coma nearby and smashed him to smithereens. Welcome to my life.

Every time I go to a Caribbean country, I become a tasty, irresistible snack for local mosquitos. One time my family and I went on a cruise to Belize, and popped into a zoo. These mosquitos had no mercy. By the time I emerged I was covered with about 20 bites on my thighs and calves. People always laugh at my pain, trying to comfort my itching with the phrase, “You must have sweet blood.” It does help me somehow to think that my blood is so delicious that mosquitos simply can’t resist. People look at me crazy as I swat wildly, while they sit serenely with their bitter bloodstreams. But having sweet blood is not fun, y’all. I am tired of mosquitos.

I’ve acquired several new skills as a result of mosquitos affinity for me. I am like a Ninja when it comes to killing them. I can always detect when one is on the prowl, and I’m great at finding them lurking and making them pay for their sanguine cravings. Tip, if you’re sleeping and getting munched on, they are usually close by. On a headboard, on the wall right above you, or on a nearby piece of furniture. They never stray far from the blood buffet.

But of course it’s impossible to kill them all, so I’ll leave you with this advice. If you want to hear the ocean waves and feel sea breeze in a Caribbean country or hot climate, make sure you have a mosquito net. Burn those Citronella candles. And carry Deet! Yes, DEET. Let them know you mean business.

Leaving you with Love & Light (everyone but mosquitos, I hate them).

*Despite my smiles, I was very itchy.
**The trip was very lovely! I had a great time. Seagram’s Escapes drinks are wine coolers with 3-4% alcoholic content. They’re like soda with a kick! Sipping them took my mind off getting bitten to death.
***I am giving away all of my swim cover ups (except the Fe Noel one in front of the yellow wall). Leave a comment with your mosquito tales. The funniest one gets sand dipped cover ups bc I don’t feel like washing them.

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  • Stephanie H

    I went on a camping retreat in Ojai, CA with my high school a week before prom and the mosquitoes TORE ME UP. If I have sweet blood I was the dessert they will remember for a lifetime because I literally had bites all over my body and the looked like welts. 🙁 I was wearing a sleeveless dress for prom and had to get this special makeup to cover the bites all over my shoulders and arms. Luckily you couldn’t tell in my pics and me and my date looked fly! No pun intended. 😛

  • Kristen Reynolds

    First off, I’m thrilled you enjoyed your stay in my beautiful country!
    Secondly, at the very least I hope you find comfort in the fact that you are able to venture home to lesser zinging atmosphere free of the pesky critters that lurk down here.
    Oddly enough, in around my home we don’t have that many mosquitoes but when it rains boy oh boy do they emerge from the unknown duldrums to overtake and what almost feels like sting, bite and itch your life all the way to oblivion.
    I remember the first date I had with my daughter’s father, we went to a well known seafood eatery Fish Hut by the border of Trelawny and St. James and the moment I sat and we started to have a conversation, the ghastly and quite rude if you asked me things would not stop singing in my ears. I swatted for dear life, to this day he still makes fun of me!
    What I do now, because my skin and my children’s skin are so sensitive, essential oils mixed and steeped are the business!

    A little Eucalyptus oil, Wintergreen Rubbing Alcohol and Tree Oil keeps them at bay! Only thing is you need to reapply every hr or so but if you can bear the scent you’ll be mosquito free 😀

  • kanisha

    Lol!! you can say that again n again Claire. I so hate mosquitoes too. Its not funny when bitten by them. You either scratch or you re in pain. Then, you cant sleep with the noise they make especially when directly in your ears. Jesus! its irritating and annoying. You will have to get up and try to kill thus becoming a night-watch lol!. A mosquitoe is never one’s friend. After all, you still had fun over there in Jamaica. Good to hear. Thanks for the tips on how to conquer Mr Mosquitoe.Nice and lovely bikinis you got.

  • Elie

    Your skin is so flawless though Claire. How I would kill to at least get bitten but not suffer from hyper-pigmentation as a result. Do you not get any dark spots at all after you’ve been bitten?